Pulp Racing Presents
The Honda Hall of Fame
"Fastest Laps by the Fastest Honda Cars"

Jenna J., the Pulp Racing PR Woman, Lays Down the Smack Talk

[Begin Intro Rant]  If you can't see Jenna J., it is because you are not running a Windows PC.  Or worse, you don't have a high speed Internet connection.  Sorry about that.  But that is what happens when you run a Mac or Linux machine, you become the 3% minority that no one cares about.  You Mac/Open Source guys are like backward Islamic fundamentalists with their heads in the sand when it comes to reality.  "Our way is the right way, and the Only way".  "Death to Windows".  "The Revolution is coming, we will defeat those dogs in Redmond".  "Support Jihad, overthrow those western purveyors of capitalism".  "God wants it this way, Bill Gates must be stopped". 

Winston Churchill said something like, "When you are 20 years old, if you do not believe in socialism, you have no heart.  When you are 40, if you are not a capitalist, you have no brain".  Mac/Open Source folks:  repeat that phrase 3 times, remember it, and call me on your 40th birthday.  Then we can look back and discuss what a moron you were when you were younger.  Surrender now, and get a life.  The war is over, you had your chance back in 1989.  You have been assimilated, some of you just don't realize it yet. <grin>

If I were you, I wouldn't piss off the brainiacs in Redmond too much, cause they have lots of cash and can throw down a precision air strike like you wouldn't believe.  Remember Netscape, Lotus, Word Perfect, Borland, OS/2, Netware, Groupwise?  Those guys virtually disappeared off the face of the earth after getting in the crosshairs of the Cult of Bill. You could be next. Right-click and do a save target here for a 3.5 meg video critique of the Macintosh (old for you Mac users, but us PC users probably haven't seen it yet.)  [End Intro Rant]

In my opinion, here is only one thing that is really important in motorsports, and that is lap times.  Horsepower wars are kinda stupid, because it doesn't really show what your car is capable of on the track.  Meaning you could have 500 HP, but if your brakes sucks, and your suspension sucks, and you suck as a driver, then all you really have is 500 HP doing nothing but bling bling pimping on the dyno.  Don't get me started on quarter mile times....you know where you drag racers fit on the Pyramid of Speed.

Transponder:  The best way to measure how fast you are against your peers

I present to you, the Honda Hall of Fame.  (Hopefully Honda will not issues a cease and desist order for using their name on this page.  But people told me it sounded better than "The Pulp Racing Hall of Fame")  In order to have your lap here, you need to have an electronically recorded lap time via an AMB Transponder or a Hot Lap Timer, and email me the info, along with type of tire used, engine mods, what suspension you have, total weight of vehicle including your weight, sponsors you wish to acknowledge, and excuses you got for being slower than someone else. (I got millions of those).   Send me a picture of your car, and you will become famous on the Internet!

Hot Lap - 2nd best way to measure how fast you are.  No error (if you are truthful)

Lap times recorded via stopwatch DO NOT REALLY COUNT, because there is too much error involved.  If women used stopwatches to measure their figure, they would all have 22 inch waists.  If men used stopwatches to measure their penis, we would all be 10 inchers.  First and second place at a track event will often be determined by hundredths or thousandths of a second.  HOWEVER, since many of you do not use AMB transponders or Hot Lap Timers yet, I will post your "stopwatch" times for right now, but they ain't that credible, and you can't qualify for "King" of that particular track (unless we have no AMB/Hotlap times submitted).  But at least we can start creating a database of info so we can learn how we stand against other Honda Drivers, and what mods really do make a difference.  Later on, I will phase out the stop watch times, because, they just ain't accurate.  And, it will benefit you to attend events that use AMB Transponders or allow Hot Lap Timers.  Because then you have a shot at being at the top of the charts for a particular track, like P.D. is for Sears and Laguna in his NSX. 

Stopwatches - Bad way to measure against others.  Too much human error

Example of why stop watches suck:  you are recording your buddy's laptimes with a stopwatch.  He passes by the start finish line, and you agree to hit the stop watch every time he passes the start finish line.  However, on lap 4, you are talking to a hottie, get distracted, and you hit the stop watch one second too late.  Which means for lap 4, you are one second off, and his lap time will appear slower than what really happened.  Which also means for the next lap, lap 5, your stopwatch says you are one second faster than you really are.  But after reviewing your 20 laps taken by a stopwatch, you won't remember that lap 4 was off by a second too slow, and lap 5 off by a second too fast.

Put your name in lights on this webpage!

Yeah, people do have to be honest with their lap times with the Hot Lap Timers.  There is a big difference between a "Cheating Bastard", who tries make his car faster without people knowing about it, and a "Lying Bastard", who is a person who has no integrity and will basically lie, steal, and cheat about everything, including their laptimes.  You want to avoid those people and those vendors that are "Lying Bastards".  But since most of us that track our cars keep a fairly close eye on each other, if someone cheats and lies about their Hot Lap laptimes, you can bet a bunch of people will jump up and own and scream "Bullshit" on all the various BBS boards.  So Don't Lie to Me, You Will Be Exposed!

Also note:  Virtually all the cars on these pages are street legal.  Meaning they are registered and driven on the street.

The tracks that I currently have lap times for various Honda cars are the following:

  1. Anneau du Rhin (added July 2, 2002)

  2. Atlanta Motor Speedway (added April 28, 2002)

  3. BeaveRun (Added August 6, 2002)

  4. Buttonwillow Clockwise #1

  5. Buttonwillow Clockwise #13 (added April 25, 2002)

  6. Buttonwillow Counter-Clockwise #1, with Bus Stop and Star Mazda Hairpin (added October 1, 2002)

  7. Buttonwillow Counter-Clockwise #13 (added December 2, 2002)

  8. Buttonwillow CCW #14 (added June 12, 2003)

  9. Buttonwillow CCW #25 (added October 5, 2003)

  10. Carolina Motorsports Park (added July 2, 2002)

  11. Dijon-Prenois (added July 2, 2002)

  12. Gingerman Raceway (added October 22, 2002)

  13. Hallet Motor Racing Circuit (added April 25, 2002)

  14. Hockenheim Short Course (added Nov 1, 2002)

  15. Homestead Miami Speedway (added April 28, 2002)

  16. Laguna Seca

  17. Las Vegas - ALMS Course (added 10-1-02)

  18. Las Vegas - Outside short course

  19. Lime Rock (added April 30, 2002)

  20. Magny-Cours (added July 2, 2002)

  21. Mas Du Clos (added October 22, 2002)

  22. Mosport (added May 7, 2002)

  23. Motor Sports Ranch (added June 24, 2002)

  24. Nazareth (added April 30, 2002)

  25. Pahrump

  26. Pikes Peak (added June 12, 2003)

  27. Portland International Raceway (added 5-5-02)

  28. Road Atlanta (added July 2, 2002)

  29. Roebling Road (added April 28, 2002)

  30. Seattle International Raceway/Pacific Raceway (added April 25, 2002)

  31. Sears Point

  32. Sebring Full Course (added April 28, 2002)

  33. Sebring Short Course - North (added April 28, 2002)

  34. Second Creek Raceway (added October 1, 2002)

  35. Shannonville Motorsports Park (added August 31, 2002)

  36. Spa-Francorchamps - (added July 2, 2002)

  37. Spokane Raceway Park (added August 10, 2002)

  38. Summit Point (added May 21, 2002)

  39. Talladega (added July 2, 2002)

  40. Texas World Speedway (added June 24, 2002)

  41. Thunderhill

  42. Thunderhill Backwards (added February 12, 2002)

  43. Toronto Motorsports Park (added August 31, 2002)

  44. Virginia City Hill Climb

  45. Virginia International Raceway (added July 2, 2002)

  46. Waterford Hills (added August 31, 2002)

  47. Watkins Glen (Added 11-19-03)

  48. Willow Springs - Big Track

  49. Willow Springs - The Streets of Willow Springs (with bowl)

  50. Willow Springs - The Streets of Willow Springs (no bowl - added April 25, 2002)

  51. Willow Springs - The Streets of Willow Springs - Counter Clockwise (with Bowl, added Feb 18, 2003)

Email me your lap times.  You guys back east, send me your lap times and the tracks that you run.  Especially you Civic/Integra racers, as I don't have much info on your lap times.  The info I need is:

1.  Date of your fast lap
2.  Lap time, and timing device used
3.  Tire type
4.  Engine mods
5.  Suspension mods
6.  Weight with you in it.
7.   A few sentences on your sponsors/excuses/links about your car.

I would like to get at a minimum the top 10 car/drivers for each Honda model.  Let the games begin!  

Yeah yeah yeah.  I know.  I should make an interactive database so everyone can submit their times.  But I think people will be less inclined to "exaggerate" their laptimes if they have to email them directly. 

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